My Little Obsession

My Little Obsession

Two men approach each other in the empty street of a desolate, rundown town. They stop advancing and then engage in an intense stare-off with each other. Each man stands motionless with their hands down by their sides. A crowd of spectators are watching in silence as they hide behind barrels, boxes and the walls of buildings. Suddenly, the church bell chimes and then a shot rings out. One man falls to his knees staring in awe and bewilderment with a bullet hole in his chest. A few seconds later, he collapses forward in the dirt as a lifeless corpse while the other man stands clutching a smoking gun. This is the typical scene in western films that I have learned to love. I am a person with a very obsessive nature and I am not afraid to admit it. There are a great deal of things in which I am obsessed with but there is one in particular that stands out among the rest. I have an unhealthy obsession with westerns. When I say western, I mean the kind of movie that is set in the 1800’s where the country appears to be full of cowboys, gunslingers and indians. It’s the kind of movie your grandfather is usually rambling on about when you are texting friends and not listening. It is a type of movie that has a story thicker than Austin Powers’ chest hair. It has the kind of action that is over-the-top like John Rambo taking out a helicopter with a bow and arrow. There are more guns in these movies than you would find in a redneck’s pickup truck. Enough with the comparisons. There is something about the setting in these movies that pulls me in. I love the cliche heroes that are usually played by actors like Clint Eastwood or John Wayne. The main character is always a one man army who never misses or gets shot in a gunfight. Then there is the stereotypical plot that involves a cattle baron who steals the family farm, or a sheriff who has everybody living in fear until a “mysterious stranger” comes along and resolves everything. This lone stranger can solve a town’s problems effortlessly while the fifty men before him could not do a thing. The stranger can take down and endless force of bandits, outlaws and gang members single handedly without even breaking a sweat. The bad guys in westerns are always characterized by the same thing, which is the inability to hit anything at all with a gunshot. These guys have such horrible aim, that even Helen Keller has a better chance of firing and hitting a target. A lot of the westerns are actually similar in plot and they have cliches everywhere. When it really comes down to it, Clint Eastwood plays basically the same character in every western. He usually plays a silent protagonist who is drifting through town when all hell breaks loose around him. Clint Eastwood is the stereotypical hero/badass in westerns and can take down about twelve people with only six bullets in his revolver. He can be blindfolded and no matter where he shoots, the bullet in his gun just homes in on the bad guy. I swear, if he fired his gun in the middle of a crowd, the bullet from his gun would weave between everyone and hit the bad guy directly. Clint Eastwood’s mighty revolver appears to defy the laws of physics and nature at will. If you send Clint with a single-action six shooter revolver to fight an army, he will come back unscathed. It does not matter what the situation is, Clint Eastwood can take out anyone, anywhere and anytime. Not only can he never miss with a gun, but he can always take down anybody in a fist fight. He can take down a group of about five men down all at once with ease and in a matter of seconds. Most of these fist fights take place in a broken down saloon where they escalate rapidly to the point where it becomes a bloodbath with only Clint Eastwood left standing. I am absolutely pathetic when I watch these movies. I know for a fact that every single time, the hero will come out on top, get his revenge, save everybody and kill the villain. I feel that I may have gotten carried away with all of this writing about westerns. This is my “little” obsession... Now draw!