My Little Obsession

My Little Obsession

Two men approach each other in the empty street of a desolate, rundown town. They stop advancing and then engage in an intense stare-off with each other. Each man stands motionless with their hands down by their sides. A crowd of spectators are watching in silence as they hide behind barrels, boxes and the walls of buildings. Suddenly, the church bell chimes and then a shot rings out. One man falls to his knees staring in awe and bewilderment with a bullet hole in his chest. A few seconds later, he collapses forward in the dirt as a lifeless corpse while the other man stands clutching a smoking gun. This is the typical scene in western films that I have learned to love. I am a person with a very obsessive nature and I am not afraid to admit it. There are a great deal of things in which I am obsessed with but there is one in particular that stands out among the rest. I have an unhealthy obsession with westerns. When I say western, I mean the kind of movie that is set in the 1800’s where the country appears to be full of cowboys, gunslingers and indians. It’s the kind of movie your grandfather is usually rambling on about when you are texting friends and not listening. It is a type of movie that has a story thicker than Austin Powers’ chest hair. It has the kind of action that is over-the-top like John Rambo taking out a helicopter with a bow and arrow. There are more guns in these movies than you would find in a redneck’s pickup truck. Enough with the comparisons. There is something about the setting in these movies that pulls me in. I love the cliche heroes that are usually played by actors like Clint Eastwood or John Wayne. The main character is always a one man army who never misses or gets shot in a gunfight. Then there is the stereotypical plot that involves a cattle baron who steals the family farm, or a sheriff who has everybody living in fear until a “mysterious stranger” comes along and resolves everything. This lone stranger can solve a town’s problems effortlessly while the fifty men before him could not do a thing. The stranger can take down and endless force of bandits, outlaws and gang members single handedly without even breaking a sweat. The bad guys in westerns are always characterized by the same thing, which is the inability to hit anything at all with a gunshot. These guys have such horrible aim, that even Helen Keller has a better chance of firing and hitting a target. A lot of the westerns are actually similar in plot and they have cliches everywhere. When it really comes down to it, Clint Eastwood plays basically the same character in every western. He usually plays a silent protagonist who is drifting through town when all hell breaks loose around him. Clint Eastwood is the stereotypical hero/badass in westerns and can take down about twelve people with only six bullets in his revolver. He can be blindfolded and no matter where he shoots, the bullet in his gun just homes in on the bad guy. I swear, if he fired his gun in the middle of a crowd, the bullet from his gun would weave between everyone and hit the bad guy directly. Clint Eastwood’s mighty revolver appears to defy the laws of physics and nature at will. If you send Clint with a single-action six shooter revolver to fight an army, he will come back unscathed. It does not matter what the situation is, Clint Eastwood can take out anyone, anywhere and anytime. Not only can he never miss with a gun, but he can always take down anybody in a fist fight. He can take down a group of about five men down all at once with ease and in a matter of seconds. Most of these fist fights take place in a broken down saloon where they escalate rapidly to the point where it becomes a bloodbath with only Clint Eastwood left standing. I am absolutely pathetic when I watch these movies. I know for a fact that every single time, the hero will come out on top, get his revenge, save everybody and kill the villain. I feel that I may have gotten carried away with all of this writing about westerns. This is my “little” obsession... Now draw!

A Modest Analysis

“A Modest Proposal” is Jonathan Swift’s satirical proposition on how to solve the problem of

hunger. It begins with his description of people who are on the streets in the town as he walks through. The streets are filled with starving beggars ranging from young to old. Jonathan Swift uses ethos, logos and pathos to build a strong case for his proposition of using babies as a source of food. Swift builds his credibility and shows his logic throughout the proposal. He backs up his points with hard facts and evidence to show that the consumption of infants would be beneficial to everyone. Swift makes the point that it is the solution to end hunger and poverty in the society.

Jonathan Swift’s use of ethos shows that he is credible in the discussion on the matter of infantile consumption due to his conclusive research. In Swift’s words, “I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl before twelve years old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to this age, they will not yield above three pounds.” The credibility is built upon by Swift assuring that he had consulted merchants prior to the creation of his proposal. The children would be more beneficial to their families being sold as food when they were babies than being sold when they are older. Swift is trying to make the point that selling babies as food would yield more profit and it would help financial situations of the impoverished. Swift was also “assured by a very knowing American” of his “acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food.” To show the credibility his source, Swift speaks of American as being “very knowing” to prove he is well informed on the matter at hand. Once more, Swift’s American acquaintance is consulted but this time on the matter of eating older children and in response, he assured Swift “from frequent experience, that their flesh was generally tough and lean... and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them would not answer the charge.” The use of ethos is very strong throughout the proposal as a whole as well as the use of logos.

Swift uses logos to prove his well thought proposal as a solution to end poverty and hunger in society. To show that he has done research, Swift provides numbers/statistics to point out, of “the number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and a half”, only “twenty thousand children of poor parents are annually born.” The numbers show that Swift had researched the matter very thoroughly to provide factual evidence in his proposal. To show more of his research, Swift tells how he “computed the charge of nursing a beggar’s child to be about two shillings per annum.” He had not only found the population of his city, but he had also figured out the price of nursing one of the soon-to-be-eaten children. Swift covered everything in the proposal through deeply thought out logic.

Through the use of pathos, Swift invokes an emotional reaction from the reader in an attempt to gain support for his proposition. Swift speaks of one of his sources as “a true lover of his country, whose virtues I highly esteem, was lately pleased, in discoursing this matter, to offer a refinement upon my scheme.” He defines the man as a “true lover of his country” to show that he is a true patriot and that he would do anything for the good of his homeland. It shows to the reader the strong dedication and emotional attachment of a man for his country. The beggars on the street are “forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg sustenance for their helpless infants” instead of working to earn their livelihood. The description of the beggars who wander the streets is used to invoke an emotional reaction so the reader will feel sympathetic. The ethos is used to draw the reader into the proposal, make them feel emotionally connected to the cause, and want to find a solution for the poverty. Swift shows his mastery of the use of ethos throughout “A Modest Proposal” and draws the reader in completely to his ideas.

Jonathan Swift’s use of ethos, logos, and pathos throughout “A Modest Proposal” builds a solid case in which he justifies infants as a primary source of food. Swift uses ethos to solidify his credibility in the eyes of the reader by showing the consultation of wise, and valued sources. The use of logos shows that the consuming of infants would end the starvation and poverty of the people. Pathos is used by Swift to draw the reader in and make them feel sympathetic toward the impoverished. Overall, Jonathan Swift’s use of ethos, logos, and pathos help justify his proposal to a point where it is almost irrational to not agree with it.

The ride of my life

I was driving back home after picking my brother up from college. I was almost back to my house when it happened. But before I get there, I have to explain a few things. Let’s rewind a bit back to when I had just picked my brother up. We leave the college parking lot and start heading home. As we are driving back, I am searching for a song to listen to on my ipod. Suddenly, I come across a song that I have not heard in ages. It was the “Safety Dance” by The Men Without Hats. Now, if you do not know what the "Safety Dance" is, it is a song from the 80’s that even the people who lived through it would want to forget. It is one of those “it was cool for the time” kind of things that ends up becoming lame in later years. When you hear the very beginning of the song, you instantly think, “oh god… not another bad 80’s song.” So I am driving down the road with the song playing. I decided to open all the windows in my car and turn the volume on my car radio all the way up. At this point, we start getting weird looks from everybody we are passing. I decided, “hey let’s make this more interesting.” So I proceeded to put on my enormous aviator glasses and my sweatshirt’s baggy black hood. Here I am, this moronic white kid listening to “Safety Dance” by The Men Without Hats who looks like a wannabe gangster driving down the street. Just as I was about to pass Barrowsville Station, it happened. There I was, waving my arm out the window of the car blasting the bad 80's song with a stupid grin on my face. My brother and I look toward Barrowsville at the same exact second, and there is my dad, who I have not seen in about a month. Now, you may think this is not bad but let me tell you something about my dad. My dad can get angry over the smallest and most random things. If you have ever seen the TV show, That 70's Show, you would know what I am talking about. My dad is exactly like Red Forman. I would not be surprised if Red was a character based off my own dad. It does not help that in the show, he is always mad at his son, Eric. Anyway, back to the story. So there is my dad, standing on the front steps of Barrowsville Station, and he is staring directly at me as I am passing by. At this point, I am actually going over the railroad tracks and I am on the left side of the road driving, being the idiot that I am at times. I look in the rear view mirror of my car and I see my dad get into his car and pull out of the store. I am absolutely horrified at this point because he is gaining on me fast. I do the only rational thing in my mind at this point. I speed in my car up to the nearest upcoming street and peel out turning onto it. As I am going down this street, I think I have gotten away. I was completely wrong. I see his red car turn onto the same street and speed up toward me. Once again, I panic and drive down the street and turn, all while I still have those stupidly big aviator shades on my head, the baggy black hood and the anthem of bad 80's music playing. I could not believe I had gotten away at this point. My brother and I did not go back to my house for about another hour after that point in fear of what might happen when we got back. To this day, my dad has never questioned me about what happened or even mentioned anything about it. Among all of the awkward moments I have achieved in my life, that one is king. That awkward moment when you are in a car chase with your own father.